Dear

What am I without your love?
Who, apart from your bones?
Naive a spirit when I thought myself
Wiser all alone

I ask my Maker every set
Tossed and turned in thought
That He’d keep us tangled as we are
To never slack this knot

If one request, dear, I could pose
please don’t ever die
But if you must, the way they say
Wait on the other side

Your Tongue. My Soul.

Your tongue is the bit
Guides the whole horse
Headed straight for the pit
In your lack of remorse

Your mouth is the trigger
Of that weapon you hold
Cling to it tighter
With all the lies that you’ve told

Your teeth tie the rope
Of a noose for your throat
Then it waits for you there
As you handcraft that note

Ears begging for a scratch
From that last lie you tell
I sit impatiently by
And watch it drag you to hell

Now who’s sin is softer
In the scheme of the whole?
Your tongue of destruction,
Or the rot of my soul?

Shane and Kyrene

You ran over to me and stood close by
When you saw me on your path
I looked up at you with shinning eyes
Let you make me laugh

You danced and sang all down the street
Always made me smile
We talked and walked on funny feet
Skipping stones across the Nile

Brother and sister of a similar heart
I drank deep the words you said
I never wanted our paths to part
Though I saw the fork ahead

She stood there waiting around the bend
Her dark hair flowing free
Like an angel sent to be your friend
And take you away from me

When you saw her there in that glowing gown
Your eyes were locked for good
You grabbed my hand and we ran on down
To where your new life stood

You looked at her like I had never seen
She matched you wonderfully
You held her so nothing could fit between
How beautiful was she

This was the goodbye I thought I could bare
Tears blurred my eyes
But she looked at me and touched my hair
Told me not to cry

She spun me round till the sun went down
The way a sister would
We all laughed with a beautiful sound
Until I understood

I kissed you both with tears once more
But this time full of joy
Sent you off brighter than before
All my fears destroyed

Watched your silhouettes dance to the moon
Until they became the same
Left me standing without a wound
And a sister with my name

Walking the Fence

I hold tight the neck of this bottle
Knuckles turning white
The same way I used to hold that book
Clinging for dear life

That book’s been lost for a while now
Slipped from my trembling hand
But I barely noticed it leave my clutch
As I swallowed my guilt and ran

Been walking this way for quite some time
Straddling uncomfortably by
There is a boding fence that threatens me
Growing up from between my stride

My right foot lightly trotting the road
Cleansed with blood and water
My left foot upon the sand and soot
Of the ashes of my father

With my weight heavily upon the later
Sinking deep under my step
I watch the mud engulf it’s prey
It laughs in utter contempt

Around the bend I spot sinking sand
And try to shift my weight
But it’s been waiting there and it beckons me
With my own blood as it’s bait

The foot upon that street of life
Scrambling for a grip
Is losing the battle and it’s losing faith
Begins to violently slip

I cry out loud in burning anguish
As my body sinks to the left
My thigh slides against the rusted fence
It opens up my flesh

And then I lay there sinking slow
I can taste the stench of death
It burns my nose and it rots my eyes
It takes my very breath

Home

Her feet drag along, she’s humming a song
Hauling her stick by the way
Her hair is a mess and so is her dress
The way she intends to stay

She opens wide, sticks her finger inside
Then holds it to the sky
She looks around and laughs out loud
Why’d she even try

She knows damn well. The wind needn’t tell
What she’s always known
She drops her stick and runs real quick
She’s headed for her home

Heart of my Father

My head pressed against your chest
Listening to a beat I know
That same sound of selfless love
Beating strong and slow

The bass of your voice swallowing
The monsters in my head
Safe and sound my eyes gave weigh
You lifted me to bed

Soon my selfish pulse sped up
While yours stayed the same
You held me close to your steady heart
Hoping to calm my flame

But before long, that very beat
That I once listened for
Held me from my sprint of life
I thirsted for more

All too eager to throw away
The virtue of a child
I sought a new and thrilling path
My heart beat fast and wild

But even in my darkest days
If I chose to hear
There was a sound I could not forget
It pounded in my ears

I longed to lay there once again
Against your stable breast
To feel the rumble in your voice
To put my pulse at rest

I come home now and savor the sound
Of my father’s unchanging love
I listen and memorize the rhythm it makes
A sound I am unworthy of

Diamond in the Rough

She said 'Just because it sparkles
doesn’t mean it’s gold'
Touched my face when she saw my gaze
Searching for a hold

I rolled my eyes and saw it there
Sparkling in the sand
So I plugged my ears with fickle hands
And for the shine I ran

She reached to grab my fattened wrist
Calling out my name
But her words were muffled by my sin
As I ran away in vein

Run

I tried to run away from here
Find a place I’d never been
Looking for a leaf to wear
To hide my naked skin

Stole fruit from a corpse’s hand
Tried it out for taste
Found some rotting Conna leaves
And tied them round my waist

I heard the devils behind me
Crushing sticks beneath their feet
So I ran. I ran to another town
One with golden streets

There I thought Id change my name
To something more profound
A name like no one else
To find refuge in its sound

But before I could find a pen
My demons wrote it down
They learned it better than the last
And kissed me to the ground

There I laid in sinking sand
A dying, broken whore
Somehow found my hands and knees
Crawled in anguish to the shore

Led my body to the tainted sea
Let it sink to the floor
Thought here they’d surely let me be
My iniquity no more

But unrestrained they multiplied
In the darkness of the deep
The hosts of hell surrounded me
As I wished myself to sleep

A battlefield encompassed me
They fought for my putrid soul
The devils for its destruction
My angels for its parole

Suddenly my bones went numb
In that infested place
I saw the light that refused to go
It kissed my frozen face

I awoke clothed with mammal fur
Covering my naked shame
Back to the land I was running from
The wind whispering my first name

Fading Deer

Spirit like a fading deer;
Arrow pierced side.
Still. Silent. Eyes of fear;
too exhausted to stay alive.

She lays and waits for death,
How it comes all too slow.
Waiting. Panting. Visible breath;
But wakes to see the morrow.

Dust

Sitting in this dust
Dirty and alone
Tears of mire and of rust
Taste of gin; of bone

If the dust didn’t find them first
Id drink these salty tears
But turning into drops of mud
I choke on my own fears

If fire didn’t consume it first
Id chew on my very meat
But as I feed on it’s ashes
I collapse in tears of defeat

Every tiny stone
That hits my naked skin
To me is like an arrow
Catastrophe within

I lay here all alone
I wont close these eyes of sin
Stare into the dirty sky
And let the dust rush in

Mom:

Said you saw me in your dream last night,
The rice patties beneath our naked feet
Laughing so hard the way we do
Underneath the summer heat

Wish I was there in that dream with you
To watch your aging smile
Wish we could walk the whole day through
To hear you talking all the while

Forgot how much I missed your laugh
When you can hardly breathe
In the freedom of your simplicity
Wearing the world upon your sleeve

Heart of Stone

I sing with outstretched arms
Words that are not my own
Songs of power and of truth
But oh to wondering I am prone

Longing to long oh Lord my God
To seek your face by day
To fall asleep in your arms by night
I pray the need to pray

This heart has become a heart of stone
Sad--but it is the truth
Babbling words of a practiced tongue
Becomes my daily due

Bloody Mess

Blood runs down my forearm
Warmth streaming between my shaking fingers
I hold an aching vessel
Stench of iron lingers

Ground makes contact with my knees
Tasting my own salty tears
“This does not belong to me!”
I scream, nobody hears

I look around me. Panic
The world around me blurry
The people do not see me
Everyone in a hurry

“I need to find the man
To whom this belongs!”
No one gives a damn
Yelling at the top of my lungs

My conscious is leaving me
I am loosing resistance
World absent. Falling, falling
Hear my own cry in the distance

Then I see him in the dark
Scream his name, no sound
I run. I run so hard
He stays the same, I am bound

Reaching out with bloodstained hands
Holding this mangled heart
“You are dying here alone!
Take it back before it falls apart!”

Our gazes meet. His painful eyes
Full of hurt and despair
Gently walks to where I am
Touches my dirty hair

Suddenly speechless
I stand. I stare. I wait
We kiss, we cry, his lips I’ve missed
Our blood, our tears I taste

His forehead against mine
Stares me in the eye
Whispers “My heart is thine”
One last kiss. Goodbye

What am I to do
With the heart I used to adore
Now embracing its blood
That I am responsible for

Crimson beneath my fingernails
My hands forever stained
This reminder of my crime
Will always. Will forever remain.

Finding Myself

I see the girl I was meant to be
Crawling on her hands and knees
Naked and exposed is she
But oh, how you have made her free

I burn to be that girl in my dream
But clothed and hidden is safe here
Caught in these thoughts and sin, it seems
My shackles are nothing but fear

Longing for some identity
Accepting every chance I’m given
Now living in lack of serenity
Their acceptance is why I’m driven

Let my identity be found in you
Oh Lord give me peace from within
Knowing that your love is true
It matters not who I have been

To find myself I must first be lost
In your wonder of kindness
In your waves of grace may I be tossed
As this world of mine becomes timeless

I am not who I am, within
When I am fully me
My discovery begins
When I give my heart to thee

Strip all of me until I’m bare
See all of my shameful pain
Creator, become the air I breathe
Be the blood in my every vein

When you consume me everywhere
Then I become who you created me to be
When I finally let you take me there
I’ll find who I am, I will be me

Glass

I find myself becoming glass
pouring my soul to paper
My own realm I soon surpass
Slowly, slowly becoming tapered

Starting to feel incredibly breakable
Becoming no less than transparent
This feeling, so unmistakable
This feeling, so apparent

In this moment of vulnerability
Ready to feel holy fire
Melt me, God of gentility
Mold me into your desire

In the midst of your burning flame
Words seem all too trivial, alas
So I will do my best to proclaim
Your name, as delicate glass